How To Keep Fear From Stopping You
The topic of fear has been coming up a lot in conversations recently. Whether it’s a friend wanting to make a big career move, or someone wanting to finally find some peace around food, I thought I’d share some things that have helped me move forward in spite of fear.
Fear is a very real thing, and if we let it, it can keep us from living a life that we truly love.
Oftentimes, fear is the strongest when we are at that moment of making a decision: leap and go for it, or stay right where we are.
Because leaping would lead into many unknowns, our brain starts to fire up all the doubt. We start looking for all the things that could go wrong. Why?
It’s all because our brains are wired to keep us safe.
Where you are right now, no matter how miserable or uncomfortable it may be, is considered safe because you’ve survived.
For your brain, leaping into something new is marked as unsafe, because it’s unknown and there’s a chance that you might not survive. When you’re feeling all the doubt rush in, just know that it’s completely normal!
Many of the women I speak with are feeling trapped in their relationship with food. They are anxious, frustrated, and they’re just tired. They want peace with food, they want to feel free and healthy, and they want to go for it, but the fear is so loud that they’re frozen in place.
One of the most common fears I hear is “What if I fail?”.
Fear of failure almost always boils down to the belief that you are not good enough.
Going after peace with food, trying something different, and something bigger than you’ve ever done is a big leap of faith!
The possibility of failing would confirm your belief that you’re not good enough.
That would be devastating.
So in that moment, it becomes a lot safer and more comfortable to just stay where you are. If you stay where you are, then there’s no possibility that you’ll fail and there’s no possibility that you’ll get proof that you’re not good enough. In that moment, struggling with food is more desirable than taking that leap of faith and realizing you are not good enough.
Next time you’re feeling that fear, give yourself a break. It means you’re human and completely normal. You can even say “thank you brain for keeping me safe!”
Just because this fear is normal does NOT mean that it needs to stop you from leaping into the life you know you’re meant to have. After you thank your brain, follow that up with “I’ve got this.”
And now that you know what’s actually happening when you load up on fear, let’s talk about how to keep it from stopping you.
1. Let It In The more we try to push uncomfortable feelings (ie fear) away, the stronger they get because when we’re pushing, that’s where our focus is. Try letting the fear just hang out with you. Allow it to be there. Approach it with curiosity. What does that fear want?
2. Redirect Your Focus What is it that you actually want to be experiencing? Peace around food? Freedom? Empowerment? Being able to enjoy different experiences and be in the moment? Living a life you love? All the above? Get really clear on what you want, because that’s where you’ll want to keep your focus on.
3. Commit Commit to getting there. You don’t have to know the “how” piece yet. I always say that the how opens up in the commitment. When you commit to getting where you want to be, you’ll see possibility instead of roadblocks.
4. Get Support This is where coaching comes in and it is SO POWERFUL. Having the right system (the “how), the right support and the right accountability is EVERYTHING. When you have these three things, you get the results you want, in the shortest amount of time, in the way that’s easiest for you. Without these three things you are left spinning your wheels, and it can feel frustrating and perhaps even impossible.
So, what happens when you move forward in spite of fear? You start to see your experience begin to shift. Possibilities open up. Instead of looking for all the things that can go wrong, you start to look for all the things that can go right. You show up for your journey with more confidence and belief in yourself, and you’re willing to take the steps to get there.
You take consistent steps toward what you want, every day. The shifts are subtle and you don’t really notice them from day to day, but before you know it, you look back and realize how far you’ve actually come. You’re now closer to experiencing everything you want, and you now believe in yourself. As a side note, I recognize how cheesy this is, but I love cheese and I’m not apologizing for it.
This was my experience in finding peace with food and this is the experience that my clients are having. If you take nothing else from this, I hope that it inspires you to take one small step outside of your comfort zone today. It might be the very first step of many toward all that you want in this life, and if you want some support, reach out! Let’s see if working together might be that next step that could change everything for you.